The Part We Don’t Talk About: Flower Farming and Loss

The Part We Don’t Talk About: Flower Farming and Loss: By Ayden Pettigrew

There’s something magical about growing flowers. It’s why I started in the first place, to create beauty from the soil with my own hands. But there’s a part of flower farming that isn’t often talked about, especially by small growers like me. And that’s the heartbreak.

This year, I lost 104 dahlia plants.

One hundred and four.

It’s hard to even type that out. These weren’t just any flowers. These were plants I dug, divided, (mostly) labeled, nurtured, and dreamed about all winter long. This year was supposed to be the best yet, especially since I was planning to incorporate some of my own blooms into my wedding. That made it even more personal, more meaningful.

But Mother Nature had other plans.

Too much rain, too soon. Dahlia rot. Fungus. Grubs. Disease. Weeds taking over faster than I could pull them. If there was a way for a dahlia to struggle, I probably saw it this season. And while I don’t even know exactly which varieties I’ve lost yet (because, yes, I forgot to label them), I know I’m missing some precious ones, especially the whites I needed for the wedding and some of the little orange minis I was so excited to grow again.

When flower farming is your side hustle, your small business, it’s different. I don’t have a big crew or endless resources. It’s just me, doing the best I can in the spare hours I have. The time, the energy, the mental space it takes, no one really talks about how draining it can be when things don’t go right. And this year, they haven’t.

Some days, walking the field this summer has been disheartening. Beds that should be bursting with color are half-empty or bare. Weeds push through, and I physically can’t keep up. And that’s not easy to admit, because flower farming on Instagram looks beautiful. But what you don’t always see is the behind-the-scenes, the quiet, painful parts when all your effort feels like it just wasn’t enough.

I’m not sharing this for reassurance or to dwell on the setbacks. I’m sharing because it’s part of the reality that often gets left out of the conversation. The behind-the-scenes of small business isn’t always pretty, but it’s real, and it matters.

So here’s what I’m holding on to: don’t give up. Just keep going. Even when it feels heavy. Even when it’s not picture-perfect.

Because every order I fill for a birthday, bridal shower, wedding, or photo shoot reminds me why I started. You, my customers, my friends, my community, have helped carry me through the hard seasons. I see the joy in your faces when you pick up a bouquet, and I’m reminded that even the flowers that do bloom can still bring so much beauty.

And that’s worth everything.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for supporting this little flower farm, even when things don’t go as planned.

With love,

Ayden